Why do we call boy dolls "action figures"?

Why do so many people stick out the tip of their tongue when they are concentrating on something? There must be some genetic reason for this since so many people do it, but I can’t figure out how sticking out their tongue helps to thread the needle or makes tying that shoe any easier.

Why are so many terms of endearment food names or food-related? Think about it: Cupcake, Honey, Sweetie-Pie, Muffin, Pumpkin, and Sugar. Come -Pie, Muffin, Pumpkin, /sSweetie-Pie, Muffin, to think of it, most of these are baked goods. I suppose I’d rather be referred to as something sweet than be called, say, Meatloaf.
Many things I wonder about. A few actually do keep me up at night; here are some highlights.

Why do girls’ toys have to be pink? And why do boys’ toys have to be dark colors with lots of violent action? Whoever decided what colors different genders like?  Why, for that matter, are girls toys geared toward things like cleaning house, cooking, child-rearing, or dressing up in a lot of glittery makeup and sparkly dresses, while most boy toys seem expressly designed to promote familiarity with weapons, racing and crashing cars, and emulating characters from the media who use violence as a means to solve problems? Why aren’t there any little boys shown playing with Barbie dolls in TV commercials? Why don’t they show girls playing laser-tag or using a remote controlled car? Why do we even have “boy” or “girl” toys in the first place? Is this the 21^st century, or what?

Why do we say “Bless you” when someone sneezes, but do nothing if they cough?

Why is it ok for women to wear pants, but not ok for men to wear skirts (unless you’re Scottish)?

Why do we call boy dolls “action figures”?

Why are there no last names based on women’s first names, but plenty of male last names? Michaels, Davidson, Jackson, Jeffries, etc. Even Kelly, which I thought might qualify as a female last name, is really just a boy name in Ireland (I think).

Why are there king and queen sized beds, but then the smaller ones are called full and twin? Why not princess or duke? And, in my opinion, twin really implies there should be room enough for two people. Totally misleading.

Last but not least, why can’t I seem to remember that as I get older, I become more sensitive to caffeine and that I shouldn’t drink any after 3 in the afternoon unless I want to be up all night ruminating about totally random things?

The secret ingredient is apathy.

I don't cook. This is not to say that I can't ever cook, but just that I hate to cook. I have never had the urge to "whip something up" in my kitchen. That's what restaurants are for. The only things I have made successfully in my kitchen are several small fires. I once screwed up Jello (yes, really). I can't for the life of me ever get excited about the prospect of making food.

Eating it, sure. I've even wondered how someone who clearly loves food as much as I do can not have an interest in cooking. I have cookbooks (Thanks, Mom) but they're really just for show. Turns out you have to have all these ingredients lying around. So they sit there taking up valuable space next to my microwave.

Which brings us to how we make most of our meals at home. Thanks to modern technology, we do not starve. We microwave. If it comes in a can, box, or freezer bag and has microwave directions on it, I will buy it. We buy an insane amount of frozen meals and prepackaged crap so that I do not have to cook. I taught my children how to use the microwave by the time they were big enough to reach the buttons. I have even made rice crispy treats in the microwave (total prep and cook time: 5 minutes).

There are some things I can and will cook. Pancakes, but from a box mix which only requires that I add water. Pancakes are sort of an instant gratification food (you can see the obvious appeal here), much like cold cereal or tap water. Scrambled eggs, grilled cheese, and pasta (with canned sauce) are other specialties of mine; and let us not forget a basic staple at our house: Hamburger Helper. Enough said.

One day, my hope is that science will figure out a way to improve on the time and effort required for cooking. Much in the same way that video and music technology keep getting more advanced with smaller devices, I look forward to the day when we have similarly cool cooking gadgets. Like the ones in Star Trek that just give you whatever you ask for out of a little door in the wall. Or better yet, those food pellet-pill things like the Jetsons had. Maybe this will be a reality by the time we have flying cars, but I'm still waiting for those to show up.