The secret ingredient is apathy.

I don't cook. This is not to say that I can't ever cook, but just that I hate to cook. I have never had the urge to "whip something up" in my kitchen. That's what restaurants are for. The only things I have made successfully in my kitchen are several small fires. I once screwed up Jello (yes, really). I can't for the life of me ever get excited about the prospect of making food.

Eating it, sure. I've even wondered how someone who clearly loves food as much as I do can not have an interest in cooking. I have cookbooks (Thanks, Mom) but they're really just for show. Turns out you have to have all these ingredients lying around. So they sit there taking up valuable space next to my microwave.

Which brings us to how we make most of our meals at home. Thanks to modern technology, we do not starve. We microwave. If it comes in a can, box, or freezer bag and has microwave directions on it, I will buy it. We buy an insane amount of frozen meals and prepackaged crap so that I do not have to cook. I taught my children how to use the microwave by the time they were big enough to reach the buttons. I have even made rice crispy treats in the microwave (total prep and cook time: 5 minutes).

There are some things I can and will cook. Pancakes, but from a box mix which only requires that I add water. Pancakes are sort of an instant gratification food (you can see the obvious appeal here), much like cold cereal or tap water. Scrambled eggs, grilled cheese, and pasta (with canned sauce) are other specialties of mine; and let us not forget a basic staple at our house: Hamburger Helper. Enough said.

One day, my hope is that science will figure out a way to improve on the time and effort required for cooking. Much in the same way that video and music technology keep getting more advanced with smaller devices, I look forward to the day when we have similarly cool cooking gadgets. Like the ones in Star Trek that just give you whatever you ask for out of a little door in the wall. Or better yet, those food pellet-pill things like the Jetsons had. Maybe this will be a reality by the time we have flying cars, but I'm still waiting for those to show up.